Sleep

I feel that the last time I had a good sleep was on the 3/7/08, on the 4/7/08 my waters broke and since then I am trying to get a good night sleep…. but it’s not easy. The first 2 months it was really hard Dylan (my son) was up every 3 hours, gradually his sleeping pattern improved but unfortunately after two years and 3 months he still wakes up almost every night at least once. Ok of course it’s much better than every 3 hours and to be honest he goes straight back to sleep but unfortunately when I wake up I can’t go back to sleep, I start thinking about work, or thinking what I am going to wear, or what I am going to cook for dinner, or repeating in my head previous conversations I had with work colleagues or friends, and then I get annoyed with myself because I can’t go back to sleep and I am wasting me precious sleeping minutes and soon my alarm will start playing this stupid tune……Argh!!!!!!!!!!

And then some nights (not often) Dylan will sleep all night without any interruptions so then I’ll be up in the dark trying to hear for his breathing and checking that he is ok.

Also If I am lucky enough some Sundays mornings I have a lie in, but then I can hear Dylan laughing and playing and having fun and I feel that I am missing out so I soon go downstairs.

The madness, guilt and worries of motherhood.